If you missed it, this past weekend everyone’s favorite hot mess, Lindsay Lohan decided to bring a fella back to her hotel room and was “assaulted.” Assaulted is in quotes, because right now we’re looking at a “he said versus she said” situation, so what really happened, who the hell knows.
It was Saturday night when the 26-year-old Lohan decided to pick up 25-year-old Christian LaBella at a club for god only knows what. It could have been a proper romp or maybe some cuddling and conversation. Obviously, single 26-year-olds are definitely known to take home someone for just a chat and a G-Rated petting fest; it happens all the time.
But according to NBC, shit got crazy when LaBella tried to take photos of Lohan with his phone and she wasn’t having it. Well, of course not! Based on what we’ve learned from the “Behind the Scenes of Liz and Dick,” Lohan is about to have a comeback! She can’t be caught on someone’s phone seducing him à la Elizabeth Taylor or Marilyn Monroe style or whatever tragic actress to whom she’s relating this week! She’s a serious actress, dammit!
Although we don’t know the truth in this particular incident, no woman or man should ever be assaulted — especially if they want to take home someone for just some fun. But I do want to point out is that if you’re about to bang a celebrity, you play it cool. Don’t take out your phone and start trying to snap photos as proof because you know there’s no way any of your friends will believe you after the fact. If your friends don’t want to believe you, that’s their problem. The term “star-fucker” exists for a reason, so if that’s your thing, you need to learn how to react in that particular case. No one wants to be known as the person who almost fucked a celebrity, but then got called out on assault because they were too stupid to keep it on the down-low.
This time around, I have LiLo’s back. Just because you’re a celebrity, you shouldn’t be put on display or, and especially, assaulted because you want to have a good time. Ugh. Some people just don’t know to keep it together in the midst of a serious actress.
Photo: Lohan’s Twitter
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